A moment that stopped just short of a kiss.
We both resisted at first, but at some point, I started to believe grief could make room for something else.
I believed Ben would want me to be happy.
Aaron and I had only been together for three months that night Lucy found the note.
For the first time, looking at Aaron sleeping beside me made icy fear crawl down my back.
I did not sleep again that night.
I believed Ben would want me to be happy.
By morning, I had already decided what I was going to do.
Jenna, my oldest daughter, was pouring cereal when I came into the kitchen with my keys.
“I have to run out for a bit,” I told her. “Keep an eye on your sisters, please. I’ll be back before dinner.”
I didn’t tell her about the note.
And I didn’t tell Aaron where I was going.
The road to the cabin felt longer than I remembered. When I passed the memorial marker — a wooden cross with fake flowers tied to it — my throat tightened so hard I thought I might throw up.
I didn’t tell Aaron where I was going.
When I reached the cabin, I stood on the porch and stared at the door.
“Just go in,” I said out loud, because hearing my own voice was better than listening to the panic in my head.
Inside, the air smelled stale and damp. I looked around slowly. The old plaid sofa. The cracked stone fireplace. Ben’s hunting magazines were still stacked in a corner.
But something was wrong. It took a moment to realize what it was.
There wasn’t enough dust for a place left empty for years.
My stomach dropped. “Someone’s been here.”
Something was wrong.
I crossed the room and yanked back the rug.
At first, I saw nothing. Then I spotted a floorboard that did not sit flush. I kneeled, got my fingers under the edge, and pried it up.
Underneath was a small hollow, and inside it lay a recording device in a Ziplock bag.
I pulled it out. My fingers shook so hard I nearly dropped the device trying to turn it on.
Then Ben’s voice filled the room: “If you’re listening to this, something went wrong. I didn’t want to bring this up at home. Not around the kids. Not if it was going to burden you with this secret, Carly.”
Inside it lay a recording device in a Ziplock bag.
My heart skipped a beat.
“Aaron’s in trouble,” Ben said. “Bigger trouble than he’s admitting. I found out about a case from last year. He changed the report. Things were left out. He says it isn’t what it looks like. Says he had reasons. But if it comes out, his career is over. Maybe more than that.”
For a moment, I was confused. I didn’t understand what Aaron’s secret had to do with Ben’s death.
But what Ben said next made everything shockingly clear.
I didn’t understand what Aaron’s secret had to do with Ben’s death.
“I told Aaron that if he doesn’t come clean, I’ll have to report it. I think…” He exhaled hard, then continued in a fearful voice, “I think that was a mistake.”
The recording ended.
I sat there on the floor so long that my legs went numb.
Was Aaron responsible for Ben’s accident?
I thought of all the times he had looked me in the eye and said it was the storm. Just the storm. Instant.
But Aaron had lied. Ben had said he found out Aaron changed something in a case report… Had he changed the details in the report about Ben’s accident, too?
“I think that was a mistake.”
When I got home, I put the recorder in my coat pocket and went through the motions of dinner.
I could barely taste the food. Every time the girls spoke, I had to drag myself back into the room.
I texted Aaron around eight.
Can you come by tomorrow morning?
He answered right away.
Of course. I’ll bring coffee 😘
I nearly brought my dinner back up.
